AN URBAN LEGEND

Kaninang umaga, pagkatapos kong magising ng hindi dapat dahil sa ipinagagawa sa akin ni Ate, pumunta ako sa bahay nila Krystel dahil duon natulog si Lyka, naiwan ko kasi ang charger ko kasi akala ko dun din ako matutulog sakaling hindi ako pagbuksan sa bahay dahil alas kwatro y media na ng umaga kami nakauwi galing sa sobrang nakakapagod na pagsayaw at pagbisyo sa Padi's point Marikina...

Ang pukinanginang Universal Charger na yan ng CD-R King ang sumira sa baterya ng aking selepono... Pagod na pagod kasi ako kaya nakatulugan ko... Ayun!, paggissing ko lumobo na yung baterya... hayup! Buti na lang hindi pumutok... naka ibabaw kasi sa side ng unan ko eh, nakatapat sa mukha ko... Mahal pa rin ako ng Diyos... Hindi niya binawi ang puhunan ko sa buhay... Kung nagkataon, naku!, goodbye to stardom ako! Ahahaha!

Ayun, at dahil sa hindi pa sila nag-aalmusal, kumain muna kami sa Jollibee NGI, Krystel's treat... Napag-usapan namin ang mga nangyari kaninang madaling araw... mula sa bonggang-bonggang pagsayaw ni Deo kasama mga kalalakihan duon (mabenta ang lola moh!), ang sobrang galing at nakakalibog na pagsayaw ni Catherine Liwanag (*hot! hot!*), ang nakakakaba at masakit sa ulong bill na akala namin ay ang worst na experience na ay yung sa Okavango, hindi pa pala... Ang pag-jam namin ni Lyka sa performing bands na pagkatagal-tagal bago naisakatuparan, ang bahagyang pang-aagaw ng kasayaw ni Intel mula kay Grace na isang Bedan 'kuno' y gwapitong malansa at kung anu-ano pang panganga-reer na nangyari...

Ayan'nakuh.... Matapos ang lahat, hindi ko na maalala kung pano namutawi mula sa bibig ni Lyka ang Alamat ng Ahas sa mga Robinson Malls... Ang alamat na hindi na bago sa aking pandinig... narinig ko na ito noong nasa Elementarya pa lamang ako... at talagang ni-research ko ito dahil bahagyang nakalimutan ko na ang ibang detalye... nonsense kung ikukwento ko ng kulang-kulang... Ahaha!

In the 90s, How can anyone forget? The basement of Robinson's Galleria, a then-upscale mall located along EDSA, Ortigas, was said to be the dwelling place of Robina Gokongwei's giant half-snake, half-man twin. Some versions of the rumor say that the snake suddenly appears at dressing room mirrors, which are actually gateways to the basement. Other versions say that these mirrors serve as trapdoors which open when "Robinson" is hungry, sending the unlucky victim down to a series of pipes and mazes to Robinson's chamber.

According to the rumor, this twin likes to feed unsuspecting beautiful women fitting clothes in the mall's dressing rooms and after he's able to do that, he'll be losing his bowel with golds. In fact, I remember watching Alice Dixon on the news claiming that she has just narrowly escaped the snake.

Sabi naman ng iba, ang pangyayari ay halaw lamang sa isang tulang ang pamagat ay 'Phyton in the Mall' ni Marne Kilates, na ang tunay ng mensahe daw ay tungkol sa pagbabago at kaayusan... Kung ganun man talaga, ayus naman ang analogy ng urban legend sa ahas... lalo na yung mga babaeng nagbibihis sa fitting room... gusto ko ung contrast ng nagbibihis tsaka ung ahas na nagbibihis ng kaliskis parehong bagay sa tula... alam nating naghuhubad din ng kaliskis ang ahas, ibig sabihin ay pabagu-bago sa paglipas ng panahon... at yung paggamit ng artista'y malamang pagsasa-pelikula ng ibang mga paniniwala at alamat na nilalamon pa rin ng kawalang interes... kung tutuusin, kung hindi humanga sa urban legend ang pakay eh, mas matindi ang hatak nito sa pagpapahalaga ng nababalewalang folklore ng Pinoy... yung pag-ulit sa dulo, gusto ko kasing magkaroon ng realization sa mambabasa... propaganda na kung matatawag... Gayunpaman, nagsilbi pa rin itong pang-akit at sa isang punto ay sarkastiko...

Kaya Lyka, wag nang kung anu-ano ang pumapasok sa isip mo 'pag nasa Robinson Malls ka, gaya ng sabi mo... Walang taong-ahas, taong-mapangahas meron... Haha! Punta tayo sa Metro East, my treat!... lol ; p

The partial truth?
Some say that the half-snake, half-man form of Robina's twin is an exaggeration of the actual condition of her twin. Robina has a twin daw who's deformed and this guy is the lucky charm which gave billions to the Gokongwei family.

The truth behind
Could have inspired J.K. Rowling when she wrote Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets. Haha! Well, I can't believe that people actually believed this rumor and that it even made its way to TV Patrol. Tsk, tsk. at aking napagtanto na dito nagmula ang punchline na '...tumatae ba ako ng ginto?'.

But let's come to think of it... Alice Dixon was never affiliated with any advertisement regarding Robinson's Malls or any other company owned by the Gokongweis kung sakaling propaganda lang ang lahat (ang galing nila gumawa ng gimik kung ganun talaga ang pakay ah?)... Isiniwalat niya ang lahat ng pangyayari ngunit pagkatapos lumabas ang balitang siya ay binigyan ng milyun-milyong salapi ng kumpanya, pagkatapos no'y hindi na siya nagsalita ng kung anu man tungkol sa nangyari at nanatiling tahimik hanggang sa mapagod na ang media sa pagtatanong at tuluyan nang mawala ang isyu?... Hindi man lang niya kinumpirma o binago ang kanyang mga sinabi... Ang nangyari'y nanatiling palatanungan sa lahat...

Alam kong hindi kapani-paniwala para sa mga taong ang alam lang ay yung kung ano lang ang madalas nilang makita at sa tingin nila ay normal... pero meron tayong kasabihan na 'This world is full of wonder. We exist, why shouldn't they?' which means everyone and everything can exist in this world that even the craziest things can na akala natin ay never mangyayari...

Anyway, life goes on, nangyari man ito o hindi, tumuloy pa din naman...

Ayan'nakuh!... Wala akong magawa eh... Kesa naman kainin ako ng lungkot edi magsulat na lang ako ng magsulat... Haaay buhaaaay... Try ko namang mag-pokus sa essence ng kapaligiran ko...

Reference: http://not-so-recent-manila.blogspot.com/

CAN'T HELP IT ANYMORE

"For this has become my sanctuary... away from the darkness that surrounds me... free of the fear and pain..."

A title that comes from the heart... A heart full of emotions... A heart that's always in the dark... A heart that's always afraid... and a heart that's always in pain...

It's been three years since I considered blog as an outlet to everything I see and feel... A place where I can say whatever I wanna say... A place where I can do whatever I want... A place where I can be my real self...

A place where I can be away from the darkness that surrounds me... A place where I can be free of the fear and pain that I'm feeling, since the people around me do listen but seem don't understand...

I was full of love, inspiration, courage, serenity, wisdom, strength, hope, and happiness, no bliss of any bitterness inside me... The reasons of mine to live more despite of all the things that happened and happening to me...

I consider myself as a very emotional person... but doesn't belong to those so-called 'emo'... I do cry alot... the other side of me... Sometimes, I just smile but inside of me, I am bleeding... I easily adapt what athmosphere I have...

But now, I don't know what to do... and in times like this, I only have one answer... blogging releases everything... and I find it this time, untrue...

I can't say everything I wanna say... I can't do anything I wanna do... I can't be my self... I am completely in the darkness... I am extremely in fear and in pain... even I do so...

Kahit lagi kaming lumalabas ng tropa ko, I can't hide or remove to myself how I really feel... They actually notice it everytime that we're together and even in my pictures... Bakit daw ang-lamya ko, ang-tamlay ko, ang-tahimik ko, ang-lungkot ko tignan, para akong may sakit...

I know, wala namang akong reason para maramdaman kong nag-iiisa ako dahil tapos na at ayos na ang lahat sa amin...

But then I feel so so down... Ang baba baba ng self-esteem... at walang self-confidence... I feel literally ugly and not on my best... I feel insecure... I feel like I already ran out of happiness and joy in my heart... I feel uncontented... I feel empty... I feel like I am not worthy of everything... that I don't deserve anything... I AM CLEARLY OUT OF MY SELF...

I celebrated Christmas feeling so sad... and almost didn't felt its spirit... I don't have it in me...

I never had stated all of this to anyone since I felt those... to my friends and even to my own blog... I don't know why... I feel like I want to end my life... I wanna die and do suicide...

I thought of saying these things earlier before I wrote this... about what exactly I am feeling...

My friend Che, a BS in Clinical Psychology student of Polytechnic University of the Philippines (PUP), told me...

"Eh kc hnd mu tlga inilalabas ung depressi0n m0 sa ta0 o bgay n gus2 m0 tlgang pagsbihan..at cgur0 kea ka insecurd kc nttkot k mturn d0wn o mainfEri0r or dhl ung depressi0n m0 and ngi2ng dhiln ng insecurity m0... as long as hnd tma ung outlet m0 ng depressi0n mo, hnd mwwla yan..."

"U bettr b urself... and bkt k naiinsecure? U look g0od noh"

I know, she has a point... but by now, I am not yet ready to do so... to face my fears and be brave, to make way of those who hangged clouds over me, to be inside myself again and to be over everything...

Now, I'll just help my self be happy and away from every darkness that may come to my life...

to Che, Thank you so much, you're helping me a lot... Even untold, I know that you know that I am saying this deep inside... Thank you very much!

I already realized everything, this activity helped me a lot... Ngayon, hindi na ganun kabigat nararamdaman ko... Thank you pa din pala sa blog and syempre kay Che na rin! haha!... Love you... 7: D

NASA'N ANG PASKO?

Nasaan ang pasko, sa humihiling ng kapatawaran?... Sa humihingi ng pansin?... sa naghihintay ng kanilang pagbabalik?... sa naghihintay ng pagbabago?... sa naghihintay ng pagibig?... sa naghahangad na mapasaya ang iba?...

Matagpuan kaya nila ang Pasko sa regalo't aguinaldo?...

O sa nakamit na pagpapatawad?... sa nadamang pagmamahal?... sa muling pagsasama-sama?... sa natanggap na 'di inaasahang regalo?... sa pagbabaklik ng dating pagibig?... sa ngiting isinukli?...

Nasaan ang pasko sa may dinaramdam?... sa umaasa?... sa minsang nabigo?... para sa nag-iisa?... para sa naghihintay?... para sa naghihinanakit?...

Matagpuan kaya nila ang Pasko sa ningning ng mga parol at sa liwanag na christmas lights?...

O sa wagas na paniniwala ng isang paslit?... sa pagunawa ng magulang?... sa magagandang simula at katuparan ng pangarap?... sa biyaya ng pagmamahal?... sa malasakit ng mga naging malapit sa puso?... sa pagmamahalang naitwaid ng pagsubok?...

Sino ka man, nasaan ka man... Ang tunay na diwa ng Pasko ay nasa puso...

Maligayang Pasko! 7; )

SERENITY, COURAGE AND WISDOM

Yesterday, I feel so tired and full of problems... Unknown sadness was eating me...

This butterfy flew inside the room and I can't help but be puzzled... I thought of those stories whenever a butterfy gets near a person...

It flew and flew just like it really wants me to notice its presence...

I looked at it and was amazed by its beauty...

It was my first time in my life to touch a butterfly...

I looked at it for a long while...

and eventually had told the butterfly everything that I feel.

On that moment, I keep on asking myself why I am feeling that way... and the butterfly seems to be responding...

...suddenly, I found and realize that every answer is within me...

...right after, the butterfly flew.

(This was the last shot I was able to get... The butterfly before it actually flew...)

and to my surprise, it literally disappeared...

...while I am looking at it while it's gracefully taking off with its beautiful wings from my fingers...

I felt like everything that happened was just a big fantasy, but it's true... Akala ko sa pelikula lang ito nangyayari, pero totoo pala...

After that, sobrang gumaan pakiramdam ko, nawala lahat ng burdens na dala-dala ko... I got out of the sadness and loneliness I was in... Salamat munting paru-paro...

"My God,

      Grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, COURAGE to change the things I can and WISDOM to know the difference..."

KAYA MO YAN

After 8 days, he's back. OK na lahat, balik sa dating gawi... Bumalik ang lahat ng maayos at kami'y nagkaintindihan na.

Ngunit ang ligayang iyon ay may kasabay na lungkot. Lyka told us that Darwin was diagnosed of Bone Cancer, stage 2 and have already gone to a session of chemoteraphy. Kahapon, binisita namin siya (Billy, Deo, Grace, Lyka, Tin and Christian). We never knew it's going to be like that, unlike our previous visits. We had to disinfect ourselves and wear surgical masks and stay outside his room while talking to him. Because of his state, bawal siyang lapitan if galing ka sa labas dahil mahina na raw ang kanyang immunity... kung maaari, maligo muna bago siya lapitan.

Dala-dalawa kaming umakyat at kinausap siya. Nasa loob siya ng silid at nakabukas ng bahagya ang pinto para magkakitaan kami habang nag-uusap...

Nothing's change... Hindi pa nakikita ang side effect ng therapy sa kanya... Ok naman siya and as we have seen, masigla naman siya, kumakana pa nga ng biro eh!

Wala naman daw siyang bawal kainin bukod sa canned goods (na may preservatives) at mga hilaw na pagkain tulad ng prutas (na may natural bacteria)...

Sabi ng Mama niya, pinipilit niyang kumain kahit walang wala siyang gana. Lumalaban.

Sana gumaling na siya... Let's pray for him...

Sana makasama ka na namin ulit... Magpalakas ka... Kaya mo yan...

HAPPY 2ND MONTHSARY, GOODBYE

I was not prepared enough, I am weak, I am coward, a loser... I was tormented by my own choice to end it, my will to know how enjoying being alone is and selfishness not minding what she's gonna feel... It all ate me.

I thought I was too young to be in love. Too young to handle a relationship. Too young to be committed. Too young... Too young...

...and I found the perfect place and moment to explain all of it.

She was speechless, looking far of sight and said "Naramdaman ko na pero hindi ko pinansin, baka mali lang ako... pero ito na and all I have to do is understand... when you're ready, I'm just right here, waiting for you to knock again... I love you so much and you will always be right here...". and kissed me before she went on her way hiding her tears from me.

I said I'll bring her home but she refused to. I know that I've hurt her so much. I felt guilty knowing that's how much she loves me...

...but I know she knows how much I love her and I did it for our both's sake.For us to grow, to know more our selves and see how are we going to face the world without the other... For us to be better...

I felt sorry. guilty. a weakling. no back-bone to stand upon. lame. a loser. moron. stupid. crazy. profound.

I can't imagine myself did those things to her after all that has happened... She's so loving and kind at heart. She saved me from my downfall. Inspired me to the fullest and one of the reasons why I am still living.

I worry I won't see her face light up again... I'm scared I might find myself always on her mind... I won't change, I will still be the one she knew, the one who became her long-time friend and eventually lover... and now a friend again... I hope she won't too, as promised...

I know. Whatever I say, I already made my choice and it's done. It's all over.

...time needs it to be and so it did. Maybe someday... I'm really sorry Che... :' (

Nothing was broken. It all doesn't stop here, I lost my place but I'm just close behind. Somehow, we collided and I'm proud and very happy we were, even short-lived as it is...

"Even the best fall down sometimes... and even the wrong words seems to rhyme, that out of the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow find You and I Collide..."

Happy 2nd Monthsary, Goodbye...

Na-TAG AKO!

I was tagged by Gerald in his Nov. 30 entry. Ayun, I think this is a way para maging close kami kasi newly-added lang siya sa link list ko. Anyways, Thanks for the tag! and this is my first time to write in reply to a tag and tag people! salamat uli!

---

*What to do:
1. Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2. Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
3. Pick your month of birth.
4. Highlight the traits that apply to you.
5. Write or give comments how or why.
6. Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for them.
7. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve done it!

---

I was born on 27th of June 1990, at 17 y/o lang ako ngayon! So here are the traits for the month of June:

Thinks far with vision: I enjoy living the present but always think of what might happen in the future. Kaya minsan pag gusto ko magshoplift, iniisip ko eventually makukulong ako, kaya hindi ko na gagawin! bwahaha! Joke lang ah!? Hindi ako Kleptomaniac noh! haha!

Easily influenced by kindness: Masiyado akong emotional. Mabilis akong maimpluwensiyhan ng kahit anong emosyon.

Polite and soft-spoken: I'm polite to people who deserves me to be. Soft-spoken ako sa lahat ng pagkakataon. I stay relaxed as possible kasi naniniwala ako na 'pag nag-panic ka o inisip mo na nape-pressure ka, you won't come up with intelligent answers.

Having ideas: Hindi ako papayag na hindi umuunlad ang aking kaalaman. I always find time to discover new things. Explorive (*is there such word? lol) in sense. I also share my talents and knowledge to everyone.

Sensitive: I am. But always finds time to weigh things out.

Active mind: Yep! I am. Kahit puyat, ngarag, bangag... gumagana utak ko, di ko alam!

Hesitating, tends to delay: Never. I always go onward basta alam ko at sigurado akong for good and/or the benefit of the majority yun...

Choosy and always wants the best: Yeah! Meron akong superiority complex in sense na gusto ko laging best ako. Hindi naman ako magagalit o magdadamdam kapag natalo, gusto ko lang maging best ako. I will strive hard to be one, yun lang. Basta alam kong nagawa ko lahat ng makakaya ko, sapat na 'yon para sa akin. Thankful pa nga dapat ako dahil alam ko ang kakayanan ko. I always advice and prefer the best for others.
Pag choosiness naman, siguro, hangga't maari, pero kung hindi naman dapat, hindi ko ipipilit, lalo na kung may paglalaanan talaga yun.

Temperamental: Hindi ako moody pero minsan wala talaga ako sa mood. Siguro 5% lang ng buhay ko ang malungkot ako, the rest, SOBRANG saya... take note of the "SOBRA"! haha!

Funny and humorous: Can you please add "very"? haha! Pero alam ko ang limitasyon sa pag-cast ng joke towards someone.

Loves to joke: Hindi... Hindi maitatatwa! haha! pakilagyan na rin ng "very"!

Good debating skills: Siguro... pero kasi nung defense namin nung fourth year, sabi ng adviser namin, hindi daw defense ang ginawa namin sa research paper namin... Isa daw 'yong SUPER-DEFENS'IVE'... ahahaha!

Talkative: Nabasa mo ba lahat ng post ko? bwahaha!

Daydreamer: Minsan... pero most of the time wet-dreamer ako... lol Joke lang! libog nito! haha!

Friendly: Ilan kaming magbabarkada, 16 kami diba? lol and everybody likes me... sana... joke! 'de, seriously, I'm "very" again...

Knows how to make friends: Minsan suplado ako pero kaya kong mag-approach ng tao kahit hindi ko kilala. In that way ko nakilala most of my friends. 'Hi-Hello'.

Able to show character: Ang pananaw ko, mabuti nang kamuhian mo ako kung ano at sino ako, kesa mahalin mo ako sa paraang hindi naman talaga ako. Wala akong tinatago sa sarili ko, all I show is what I really am. Ngayon kung ayaw mo ako, fine... pero it's never too late, kung gusto mo ulit akong maging kaibigan, you're always welcome. Everybody's ALWAYS welcome, anyway.

Easily hurt: Minsan... pero open-minded nga kasi ako kaya kaya kong intindihin kahit napaka-miserable na ng sitwasyon. I manage to weigh things out.

Prone to getting colds: OO! TB pa nga eh, kakayosi! Colored! lol

Loves to dress up: Hindi naman. Typical lang akong tao. Naniniwala ako na ang pagsusuot ng damit ay isa sa mga paraan upang ipakilala ang sarili mo. Bilang isang versatile na tao, I dress according to the place where I go. I keep it simple pero sisiguraduhin kong mapapansin at mapapansin ako among all the people.

Easily bored: yep, pero nawawala rin dahil inaaliw ko sarili ko by singing, mapasaisip o mapasalita. Most of the time "Lupang Hinirang". Yeah!

Fussy: Mejo, pag wala nga ako sa mood. pero yung tiyan ko madalas fussy, may gastri ulcer ako eh...

Seldom shows emotion: Hindi. Prangka ako in the sense na sasabihin ko kung anong nararamdaman ko towards you or about what happened... tsaka ako, sa'yo ko talaga sasabihin, hindi sa ibang tao. Heart to heart tayo, pero sa magandang paraan ang approach, yung iba kasi kala mo nakikipag-away kaya tuloy ang ending, magkagalit sila.

Takes time to recover when hurt: kailangan talaga. kundi, makakapatay ako eh, kaya bigyan mo ako ng time... tsaka I need help pag ganto sitwasyon ko, baka magpakamatay din ako,. malay mo... pero yung time na yun, sandali lang, siguro at least after a day... Mabilis kasi akong makacome-up with a solution... If I know I was wrong, ako susuyo sa'yo... lilibre pa kita...

Brand conscious: Ngayon na lang... kasi dati hindi kailangan eh! ahaha! Ngayon ko na lang nakilala ang brands na nage-exist sa Pilipinas, dati di namin mabasa mga brand kasi lahat galing Japan. Mapa-delata, groceries, laruan, stuff toys, chocolates. Isa lang nabasa ko, 'Disney' tapos may 'r' na may bilog! haha!

Executive: In sense...

Stubborn: No. I love my family so much, my friends and other loved-ones. I can't get them forsaken.

Gerald!, I enjoyed infairness... haha!

---

The Months and their corresponding Traits:

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Billy
Daniel
Leizel
Ferbert
Julius
Mcrey
Kristian
Reyn
Dex
Jan
Curbside_puppet
Tina

Tagged yah! lol

WHEN I WANTED HIM BACK

This is Deo. One of my friends. I first saw him when I was second year, became classmates on the last year of Highschooling and eventually friends.

Deo is very jolly. He's kind and very fun to be with. We and other friends are known as TGE (Tropang Grand Eminem). He became the leader of our troupe and ours is extra-ordinary. We are like brothers and sisters. One for all, all for one...

After graduating highschool, others are a little busy with their college life so it is just us, rania and joanna who are always together and my bestfriend flew to States, we became more closer. We always hang-out and find time to get along with each other inspite of contrasts in time. We are all always happy when we're together.

Lately the wind's blow changed...

" Chio
30-Nov-2007 6:31 pm

Hndi tlga aq mka2pnta, msma tlga pkiramdam q... Belated hppy bday nlang rania...

Ang msa2bi q lang, qng may glit kyo or hndi gsto sa 1 tao, sbhn nio hndi ung lgi niong pnagmu2khang tanga porket ndi ngsa2lita... Sobra na! Sorry 2 say pero It's plasticity in sense...

Hndi q alam qng anung meron qng bkt ka ngka2gnyan! Kc dhl b iba na'ko? Shl ano? Db yan ang mdals mong cnsbi? IBA NA'KO?! Ano nga b pngbgo q?

Ang gngwa mo, kakauspin ang lht na pgkaisahan at wag pa2ncnin ung isa at pgmukhaing tanga!

Ds tym, Mgpa2txt pa sa ibang tao pra ppuntahen, pra ano? Pgmkhain na2mang tanga?

Tama na! Sobra na! Sna ma-realize mo ung mga gngwa mo, kc ndi mo alam, nkakaskit kna at kht LAGI kng pnplit naintindhin, nakakapik0n kna...

Alam q hndi ka na iimik o sa2bhin mong wla kang pkialam, kc gnian ka nman eh! Wla kang pkialam sa pkiramdam ng iba. Ang importante sayo, ung gusto mo lang... Kelangan LAGI KANG MASUSUNOD, pg hndi, mga2lit ka!

Alam q mskt at maga2lit ka sa mga cnbi q... Pero UN ANG TOTOO...

6m"

" Deo
30-Nov-2007 6:35 pm

ukiE'fyn qNg gALEt KA sKEN wUALa aQNg PAKIALAM!, dhL aLm Q nhA aQ Ung piNaTA2mAan mUh!, aT aLm mUh Qng bT aQ ngKA2gN2 xEU!, pEi0 ukiE'Ln sKEN wUALa Q mAga2wA 4 dAt"

Billy
30-Nov-2007 6:45 pm

Haha...krrtng qlng...d2...kaw ang topic d2

+639292237***
30-Nov-2007 6:47 pm

Archie lyka t0 tumawag ka nga smn ngaun na asap 9341*** lyka t0 dali

"Chio
30-Nov-2007 6:52 pm

Ayan... Sbi q na nga b, un ang isa2got niya...

WALA AKONG PAKIALAM!

Deo- sana hbang maaga, marealize m0 na... Dhl yun ang t0t0o... Mskt dn skng sbhn un dhil kaibgan kta at alm qng masa2ktan ka pg cnbi q, kya lang kailangan na eh... Sobra na...

Mas pipiliin qng aq nlang ung huling naganito m0 dhil kung sa iba pa yan, baka hindi maganda ang approach sa'yo... Ang srap m0ng mging kaibgan at hndi mlay0ng marmi kpang mki2lala... At sana sa iba pang mga yon, wla na ky0ng mpagawayan... I made this step for a change, 2 make u realize ur wrongs which u never did, coz i want you 2 bc0me a better frnd and a better pers0n

sobra aqng mgmhal ng kaibgan at alam m0 yan...

6m"

Grace
30-Nov-2007 6:54 pm

Anu bng problem?

" Deo
30-Nov-2007 6:56 pm

tLga wUALA aQNg pAKi qNg gALET KA xE ay0Qng iPAgsiK2AN uNg sArili Q shA ta0ng ayAw sKEN!,bKT bhU Q gN2 xEU?, sNa aLm mUh Qng bKT!,ndE sidE mUh Ln iNiicP mUh"

(Meaning it to miss his calls)

Billy
30-Nov-2007 7:01 pm

Bkt daw ayw mung sagutn twg n deo,

Grace
30-Nov-2007 7:01 pm

..
oi bkt anu ngy2re sa inyo..

..., ang hrap nyu iwanan.

gm.

" Chio
30-Nov-2007 7:09 pm

Deo- hndi kta ayaw, mgkaibgan nga tyo dba? ang tgal na nting mgkaibigan... kya nga ineexplain q sau qng anung mali m0 dhl gsto pa ktang mkasama ng mas mtagal pa... Mging better and frndship nten...

Ineexplain q ng maigi dhil mhrap kang umintindi... Narrow ka kung magisip...

Yan nnman, lagi kang gnyan pg nsasabhan ka ng mali mo... nagse2lf pity ka, Yan ang mtgal q ng cnsbi at tnatangal sau kya lagi ktang cnusuportahan sa mga gusto m0, dhl mhal ktang kaibgan... Dhl ayaw qng nki2tang mababa ang tingin mo sa sarili mo na madalas mong ginagawa, dhil mhal kta...

Cge, an0 bng dahlan at ngka2gayan ka?... Cge, sbhn m0 at mki2nig ako...

Hndi q cnasgot mga twag m0 dhl alam q rin nman khi2natnan nun, hndi na2man tau mgka2intindihan...

6m"

" Chio
30-Nov-2007 7:16 pm

Pkipaliwanag kay deo na minsan dpat intindihin niya rin ako at ung mga nara2mdman ng mga tao sa paligid niya... Qng hndi lang msma ang pkiramdam q, andian aq, ksama niyo...

Feeling kc ni deo, iba na ako at lumalayo na ako sa inyo... Pero ndi nman... Ako pa din ung dting archie na nakilala niyo.... Ang sakit para sa akin na pagisipan niya ako ng ganun...

Mskt na nga skn na d aq nkapnta, tpos gnian pa c deo... Msakit tlga...

Gust0ng-gust0 qng pmunta kht ndi aq pnyagan kso ndi q tlga kya, inaapoy aq ng lagnat...

6m"

Grace
30-Nov-2007 7:18 pm

.alam mu d kau mgk2intindhn qng d kau mau2sap.

My Tita caught me crying, that she tought I was resting way so long ago. She told me she was shocked by the way I cried. She asked me why and asked someone's no. who can be talked to, to tell what I really wanted to say. She mentioned Grace, 'cos she knows her most next to Deo. I wasn't able to hear how their conversation has gone because I was busy crying... I feel freezing... I am chilling because of so much coldness...

Grace
30-Nov-2007 7:27 pm

Cnbi q nah.wag knang umiyak. wag k n dn mgicp ng kung anu anu ah..okay.mgpahnga kana.

" Deo (Billy's no.)
30-Nov-2007 7:35 pm

lm muh xe chio'nde muh rn aq maiin10dhn!, xe mgkaiba tau mgicp dhl mgktropa ln tau nde q phu alm lht xeu n nde muh ren alm lhat sken sna main10dhn muh q!, since gn2 edi wuala nha!,tnx 4 everytin'u have done 4 me,,kw nha bhala sha lht,,kw ln aman xe mpgka2twalaan q,,don't reply sken,,tnx"

Christine
30-Nov-2007 7:37 pm

Ei fends d naman xa pngttngg0l q c chio pg0d yan gling dn xa xamen at d dn xa n2l0g pmunta yan para dlawn aq h0pe u undrstnd chio kng bkt d xa nkpnta.. Pgphngahn nyo muna xa xbrang pg0d yn.. Nkakahya nga xkanya xe d xa n2log ng dhl xa ate q tnulungan nya q xna intndhn nyo xa.Bbwinaman xa xinio e tnx 4 ur c0nsdrati0n kng cnu man my awa dyan xalamat

GM

" Deo
30-Nov-2007 7:40 pm

bZthA tNx xEU chi0',,khT mGALET KA sKEN,,xE d'aQ Ung tA0ng iNiiCP mUh,, ibA aQ shA lhT,,mhrP aQNg iPLEASE,,2lN mSA2bhE Q d'TLga taU mgKA2in10dhN,,kw nhA bhLA,,."

" Chio
30-Nov-2007 8:05 pm

Deo- o0, ikaw nren ngsbi na mhrap kang ma-pls... Kc never m0ng ina-admit sa sarili m0 ang mga mali m0...

Ang iniicp m0, kya q cnsbi 2 sau dhl galit aq sau... Cnsbi q 2 kC gusto qng mas 2magal pa pagka2ibgan nten... mawala ang nagdadahil ng lamat... Mging mas mbuti kang kaibgan at mas mabuting tao...

Hndi m0 maiintindihan, kht sobrang pinapaliwanag ko, DHIL HINDI MO INIINTINDI... Kung an0 lang ung maicp m0ng maramdaman, un na un... Hndi m0 kino-c0nsider ung mga c0nsequences...

An0 b ung mga dhilan at ngka2ganyan ka saken?

Ngayon taa2nungin kta, bkt prang sa pgsa2lita m0, tnatp0s m0 na ang lhat?... Un b ang gs2 mo?

Hanggang dun nlang b kya m0ng gwin pra sa pgka2ibigan nten? Gn0n2x nlang b un? Blewala na lhat?

Dhl lang dun?, sa npkaliit n bgay isu2ko m0 na yun?

Hi2ntyn q ang sg0t m0, bsta aq, ang msa2bi q lang, mahal na mahal q kaung mga kaibgan q... Lalo na ikaw...

6m"

Lyka
30-Nov-2007 8:26 pm

UiE?PLSS TUMiGiL NA KAU.. NGAALALA Q SA MGGNG RESULT AFTER THiS SANA MGKAAUS NA KAU..

[GM.NLLGNAT AQ]

" Chio
30-Nov-2007 8:43 pm

Deo- qng iniicp m0ng wla lang aqng tulog at msma ang pkiramdam q qng bkit ako gnito, hindi...

Dhil nung nsa sanktuaryo tayo, hndi ka nmamancn., ngicp aq kung bkit ka gnon? at c lyka lang ang bnati mo pgkadting na pgkadting nmin... naalala q ung huling beses na ngkausap tau bgo un, hndi tau ngkaintindhan dhil badtrip aq nun... Alm qng inicp m0ng bkt kta dnadmay sa pgiging bdtrip q nun dhl mejo hndi mganda ang ton0 q nun... Oo inaamin ko, mli ung praan na NGAWA ko, kc ndamay kta pero hndi ko sinasadya... Tao lang din ako... Ang nangyari, maciado ka NA NAMANG nging sensitive at ngicp ng kung anu2x... naging self-centered ka nanaman, Hndi m0 aq ngawang intindhin...

Knakausap kta ng ilang beses at blak na magsorry dhil alam ko yung mali ko... pero ndi mo na prin ako pnapncn at iniirpan m0 pa aq at hinihintay mo pa talagang nkatingin ako before you do so... Aq nman ININTINDI na2man kta sa pgaakalang li2pas dn nman ang tamp0 ktulad nung mga dati, un pla hindi...

ang gnawa m0 pa, ipinaphiya mo aq at pngmu2khang tanga sa mga kaibigan natin ng maraming beses...

Ang skit nun akala mo ba, sobrang sakit para sa akin...

Cmula n0n, hndi na kta naintindihan qng bkit mo aq gnaganun... Na-confuse aq., n bkit parang SO MUCH bitter than what I must expect?... Prang may MAS mtindi ka pang dhilan na pnghuhugutan ng galit...

Dhl b d0n qng bkt ka nga2lit? Dhl b d0n sa NPKALIIT na bgay na un? an0?...

Ipa2alala q lang ulit, hndi aq nga2lit o glit sau... gnagwa q 2 dhil gsto qng mging maayos ang lhat sa atin at magng mas foundationed ang pagkakaibigan nten...

Hnihntay q pdn mga sg0t m0 khat halos d q na kya... Sana sumagot ka nman please... Mahal na mahal kita al alam na alam mo yan...

6m"

" Deo
30-Nov-2007 8:49 pm

0O dhL dUN shA mgA bgAi nhA mALiiT kw nhA miZm0 ngSbhE nhA nAr0w Minded aQ Lm mUh nhA ay0k0 ng gENun n'ay0k0 ng L8 Lm mUh mdLe aQNg mPik0n kEA d'Kta piNapANcn!,"

" Chio
30-Nov-2007 9:01 pm

Un ang p0int! In-admit m0 na ring narrow minded ka... Pero icpn m0, n0t all the time ung ibang tao ang iintindi at maga-adjust pra sau... Pn0 nlang qng hndi maiintindihin yung taong yun? Pano kung hndi ako maintindihin? Pano na? Wala na?...

Kya q 2 cnsbi sau dhl gsto q lang aucn ung kung anong mali sa atin, sayo... Pra mging ms mtibay tau. mas mging msaya tayo... Hndi para qng anu pa man...

Dba cnbi q nman sa inyo na male-late aq? ikw pa nga kausp q dba? Sbi q mauna na kau dhil male-late ako... dhil hnihntay q pa ate ko... dhil wla aqng pera... anung bago dun? dba sa knya nman aq lgi hmihingi ng pera?... Ako pa nga yung nging bridge nio hbang nsa bhay aq db? pra masundo nio si Dharl kc Sun cia at hndi nio cia mcontact dhil wla kaung extra load?

Ngaung, naiintindihan na kita qng bkt ka gnun at gnwa m0 yun skn... Un lang nman ang gsto qng malaman at mangyari eh...

Ako b naiintindihan m0 na?...

6m"

Grace
30-Nov-2007 9:04 pm

archie tama nah

"Deo
30-Nov-2007 9:06 pm

0 aLm muH amaN pLa ehHh t0h Ln aN s2bhN q ay0qNg mAUlit aN mgA bgAi nhA ngyAre sKEn!, sNA mgETz mUh Ung p0iNt Q!, kEA tMA nhA ay0Q nhA pg0d nhA Q kEA sT0p nhA Q,,"

" Chio
30-Nov-2007 9:09 pm

Alam q... Naiintindihan kta...
Glit ka prn b?"

" Deo
30-Nov-2007 9:14 pm

siNcE Kw nhA ngsbhE ay0q nhA,, n'lht lAL0 nhA c dhArl' (his bestfriend) cNsbhE nhA tAmA KA kEA ay0Q nhA!, Kw nhA Ln bhLA shA Lht Lm mUh amaN miN Q dbhU,, kEA tNx 4 evErytiN'ukiE' gE."

Grace
30-Nov-2007 10:01 pm

sna dun sa mga frnds q mgbti na kau. d kau mg2ng ok kng sa gm lng kau mguusap. magusap kau para maayos yan d ung gnyan pls. sna s humantng s gn2 kze walang mga2wa kng pareho kaung mtgas ang ulo. at pride nyo ang inicp nyu.icpn nyu dn mga ns2ktan pg nsira lht ng pinagsamahan ntin.

gm

" Deo (Billy's no.)
30-Nov-2007 11:12 pm

wuala bztha tnx 4 everytin'd'q msbhe peio cguro xe mrme mei ayw sken coz of my pride..ge pglng ka ka nha,, n just 4get everytin'n me mdli ln un acquaintance muh ln aman aq ehhh...,,ge"

Billy
30-Nov-2007 11:42 pm

...

Chio/i undrstnd ur side.....

...

Lyka,chio/paglng kau...

Gm.

Billy
30-Nov-2007 11:49 pm

...

C
H
i
O
-NAiNTNDHAN DN KTA i AGREE SA CNB Ni BiLLY KHT WLA AQ MXAD0 ALAM NKKTA Q.SANA MGKAAUS NA KAU.. SAYANG FRIENDSHIP..

...

GM

Billy
30-Nov-2007 11:56 pm

Ui...bsta dnt wrry kc alm q gsto mung pnthn....tska alm q nrrmdmn mu...npgdaann nmin n drwn yan dti.....

Dti kc pg glt c deo skn...pti ky drwn.....pti pg glt c deo ky drwn glt dn cya skn...

Knna nga cnbhn q c deo n...iwsn n nia kksbi ng "wla aqng pkelam s knya" pra hnd cya mgng slf cntrd...

---

Rania came over our house yesterday, asking me out on how I am feeling... OK naman na ako, I was just really really not feeling well that time. I can't even get down from my room to drink water. and I was chilling because of so much coldness.

We have talked about what happened... She said, she understood what I meant and why I did that...

I asked her what did Deo do or said after sending the messages. She said he was always saying "Wala akong pakialam!" everytime the topic is opened, not in the mood and quiet (Which he has never been whenever he's with us and feeling fine) while the others keeps on explaining him more of my side...

They have gone to Darwin's house after to bring him some food and look at his condition... She said Darwin's OK and the schedule for his operation is still unknown...

I asked her if she's mad at me 'coz I am thinking that I have ruined her party by unintentionally breaking Deo's mood which was supposed to be jolly and making the others roused and happy by being funny... She disagreed. And I also said sorry for being not able to attend her birthday celebration... and told me it's OK.

Deo and I haven't talked since that time... I don't know what will I do regarding this matter. I really want to talk to him but he might think that I am under him again and all that he think and believes are right. He got used especially to me that he's caressed after a quarrel that's why he unintentionally know that everything's fine with what he's doing. This time, I'll try hard not to talk to him... for him to have the time to unwind, think and realize all that I've said...

But there are two possibilities:

[1] He'll always make reasons just not to go or intentionally not go during our troupe's get-togethers.

[2] We'll always meet everytime our troupe's gonna have a get-together but He will not mind me even if I talk to him and explain more... like what happened to him and his bestfriend, Darlene. They haven't talked for about 2 months (seriously) while we are only in one room when we were on highschool and we are all always together.

And those are the things that really frightens me... Deo has this attitude kasi of not minding the person he has an issue with, come what may in sense. He always keep everything to himself... all the hurt (nagtatanim ng galit) and things that makes him sad, he doesn't find anyone to be his outlet, keeping all of it to no one but himself... that's why he tend to always pity himself and be very sensitive and emotional to all the things that should not have a big deal about...

The next expected get-together will be Eunice's birthday... that will be on December 16. I don't know what should I do. Should I talk to him na or not?... I will still weigh things out, if I find him already realized everything, I'll talk to him... It's a matter of time that made this matter big so I guess time would also make it heal...

I hope this will be fixed very soon. I also hope it will be easy for him to realize and accept everything. but if not (hope not), I guess life would have it, for me, I have done my part and I hope He'll always be alright...

I'll forever treasure him, he has become a very big part of me... I already miss him and I always think about our friendship and the time and things we've been through. I really love him and I am afraid I might lose him....

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who instead of giving much advice, solutions or cures. Have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing nor healing but face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares..." - by naughtyme08

PASKO SA AKING PUSO

Disyembre na... Ang lahat ay masayang naghihintay ng ikalawampu't limang araw... Ang iba'y nagbibilang na ng araw, ang iba'y naghihintay na lamang... May naglilista na ng reregaluhan, habang ang mga bata'y hindi na makapaghintay, inaalala na ang mga ninong at ninang, nagbibilang na ng mga tatanggaping regalo... Oo nga pala, pasko na...

Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang bawa't isa na nakangiti at masaya, habang aking naririnig ang mga himig na dala nito, nabibingi sa katahimikan ng gabi, nakikita ang mga maliliit at makukulay na ilaw habang ito'y dahan-dahang namamatay at sumisinding muli, nadarama ang kalaliman ng gabi at malamig na simoy nitong hangin...

Hindi ko mapigilang maisip ang mga nagdaan... Ang mga pait at sakit na aking naranasan mula pagkabata... Ang mga kaibigang minsa'y nagdaan, pamilyang winasak ng tadhana, bigong pagmamahal at buhay na walang patunguhan...

Ang sakit sakit... lahat 'yon nandito, nakaukit at nanatili... mula noon hanggang ngayon...

Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin... Iniisip ko na lang na ang buhay ay isang daang hitik sa pagsubok, kasinungalingan at kalungkutan... Ito'y kailangang tahakin upang matuto at maging mas mabuti pang tao... May mga taong nagmamahal sa akin at hindi ko kayang makita silang nalulungkot kapag ako ay sakaling mawala at magsisi sa huli kung kailan wala na akong magagawa...

Ngayon, mula sa sandaling ito at paggising ko mamaya, haharapin ko ang mundong nakahawak ng mahigpit sa aking paniniwala... at ako'y susubok na muling tumayo upang sa mga oras na nalalabi sa aking buhay, ako'y nananatiling malakas at lumalaban...

Ito ang pasko, pasko sa aking puso...